


First Love (Misha x Reader)

by sparklingcas



Series: First Love [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Jared Padalecki - Freeform, Jensen Ackles - Freeform, Language, Masturbation, Misha Collins - Freeform, Misha/Reader - Freeform, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Prequel, RPF, Reader-Insert, Series, Sex, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural RPF - Freeform, Temperature Play, Unintentional Prequel, light cum play, misha x reader - Freeform, shower head play, some violence, unhealthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 09:52:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11987373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklingcas/pseuds/sparklingcas
Summary: Hitting it off with everyone your very first week on the set of Sueprnatural, things take a bit of a turn when you meet and fall in love with Misha Collins.THIS STORY IS THE PREQUEL TO MY SERIES UNINTENTIONAL





	1. Meeting Misha

You didn’t expect to fall in love so quickly, or so suddenly. As a matter of fact, you didn’t expect to fall in love _at all_ ; but you did. You weren’t a believer in _love at first sight_ ; but you sure were now.

The second you laid your eyes on Misha, you were entranced. You knew who he was, you’d seen him on tv before; but meeting him? That was a whole nother story.

You’d only been in Vancouver for a couple of weeks. You moved up from Los Angeles a week before you started your role on Supernatural, and got settled into your new apartment.

Your first week on set had been a blast. You hit it off with everyone. The crew was wonderful. Jared, Jensen, Mark, and Ruth were incredible, and all of the other guest stars were amazing.

It wasn’t until the tail end of your first week, that you met the man that changed your life.

You’d already filmed the majority of your first episode – Misha wasn’t needed until the end, so he hadn’t been there. But the morning he showed up to set, wearing a pair of blue jeans and loose, gray t-shirt…your heart nearly stopped.

You’d been sitting on the steps of your guest trailer drinking coffee – or rather, coffee flavored sugar milk as Jensen called it. You took a sip before setting it down next to you whenever Misha had walked up to you.

“You must be-” he held his hand out to shake yours, but as you looked up at him he had completely forgotten what he was saying; and just looked at you, his beautiful sapphire eyes filled with wonderment.

“Y-Y/N.” you finished for him, just barely, you were also taken aback by the mere appearance of him.

Your stomach kept doing flips as you took his hand to shake it. His hand was large, slightly calloused, but soft.

“Sorry-” he laughed, redness rising up in his cheeks as he tried to make this less..awkward- “I’m Misha.”

You smiled and subconsciously bit your bottom lip before you were able to speak again, “I’ve heard-”

You awkwardly let go of his hand and placed it back in your lap, still smiling like a goddamn idiot.

“Um, so-” he rubbed the back of his neck, you could tell he was also kicking himself- “I’ve gotta get to wardrobe, catch ya later?”

You nodded slowly and avoided direct eye contact- “Catch ya later.”

He smiled at you before shoving his hands in his pockets and scurrying off with his tail between his legs.

_Catch ya later?_

You picked your coffee back up, and sipped from it a bit more as you stood up. You noticed that you were shaking slightly; but you weren’t sure if it was the caffeine or if it was the effect that Misha had on you.

“Y/N!” you heard Jensen’s voice hollering for you just as you began making your way to hair and makeup.

“Hey.” you said as you turned around and walked up to him, smiling.

“Coffee jitters?” He asked. _Was it that noticeable?_

“It’s probably just all this sugar.” you smirked.

Jensen threw his arm around you and started walking with you to hair and makeup- “You’re coming to the bar with us tonight.”

“Am I?”

“Jared, Mark, Me, and Misha are all going; and since you’re gonna be here for a while, you’re going too.”

You laughed, “Sounds like an offer I can’t refuse.”

“Great-” Jensen playfully pushed you towards the trailer you were going to before turning to leave- “Text you the address!” he called back to you.

Suddenly, just as you were about to set foot on the hair and makeup trailer’s bottom step, you felt butterflies in your stomach; just from the thought of Misha being there.

—-

You rounded the corner, half a block from the bar Jensen had told you to meet everyone at. Surprisingly, you actually lived pretty close, so you decided to walk.

There were a lot of people outside of the bar, so you had to somewhat push your way through a crowd; only to find out that you’d walked up to the wrong door. When you sighed and turned around, you were met face to face with Misha, who had just begun to hold his hand out to tap on your shoulder.

“Uh- hey Mish.” you said. You didn’t know where ‘Mish’ had just come from, but you went with it.

“Hey-” he started, pulling his hand away, his nervous demeanor from earlier completely gone now that you’d spent the day working together- “I saw you walking towards the wrong door and I uh-”

He trailed off, too busy looking you up and down to remember what he was saying. You’d made sure to wear your best outfit for the evening. Since it was still mid-summer you opted for a floral, flowy skirt that stopped just above your mid-thigh, and a plain spaghetti-strap tank top to match. Paired with flip-flops as always; and you knew that you looked good.

You smiled up at Misha, tilting your head slightly as if to get his attention. Only when he made eye contact with you; everything around you suddenly faded away.

“I-I’m sorry-” he began, holding his arm out for you to loop your own around- “You’re just…really beautiful.”

You instantly felt your cheeks burn bright red as you took the invitation to loop your arm around his.

“T-thank you-” you said, smiling up at him- “you’re not so bad yourself.”

You already thought that he was amazing. He was kind and gentle, his smile was genuine and he smelled amazing. His natural musk mixed with his cologne was a concoction of the gods.

Misha smiled back at you before leading you to the correct door. Your heart fluttered the entire time, and as Misha held the door to the bar open for you, his arm freed itself from yours; and he placed his hand on the small of your back while you stepped inside. His touch sending electricity through your entire body.

As you and Misha walked up to the bar and took a seat, he began making small talk with you.

“So how’s Canada treatin’ ya?”

“I’m loving it so far,” you started, “I’m already all settled in.”

Still smiling, Misha looked over and waved the bartender over- “What’s your drink?” he asked you.

“Corona and a shot of tequila.” you said before you began looking around for everyone.

You noticed the look Misha had given you as you took the shot of tequila and pulled the slice of lime out of your beer, almost as soon as the bartender set your drink down in front of you. At that very moment you knew where you’d be ending up tonight. Just from the look in his eyes, not that you were complaining.

“So are you a long way from home?” Misha asked.  
  
“Ahh I haven’t had a home in eight years” you said, taking a swig of your beer.

“Why not?”

“Long story.”

“Well it’s a story I’d love to hear some time.” Misha said as he began tracing his fingers around on your forearm; which had been resting on the bar. You bit your bottom lip as you looked up from him touching your arm and into his eyes, your heart rate immediately increasing. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was trying to kiss you.

“There ya’ll are.” you heard Jared say, pulling your attention from Misha and to the opposite side of you, where Jared sat down to order a drink. Misha had also scooted back from you a little bit so that his uncomfortable shifting would hopefully go unnoticed.

You and Misha had been talking with Jared for a while before he started looking between the two of you. He noticed something, and the side of his mouth curled up ever so slightly when he put two and two together.

“Anyway-” Jared began, setting his now empty beer bottle down and standing up- “I’m gonna go find Jensen.” He winked at you before taking off, leaving you alone with Misha once again.

You spun in the barstool to face Misha once again, whom you caught glancing down your back.

“So-” you suggested.

“So.” Misha repeated, watching you as you bit your bottom lip. Now a few more shots and another beer and a half in, you were starting to feel good.

You glanced up at the clock on the wall, thinking about the fact you hadn’t seen anyone but Misha and Jared since you’d been here. Misha must have wanted to be alone with you; but you certainly didn’t mind.

“I um,” you trailed off and shook yourself out of it, “sorry..do you wanna-”

“Absolutely.” Misha interrupted you, confirming that he had the same thing on his mind as you did.

Misha threw some cash down on the bar and was out of his seat as quickly as you were.

—-

You and Misha both stumbled into your apartment with your lips glued to each other. It’d taken you way too long to unlock the door with his tongue in your mouth and his hands on your ass. You kicked your flip flops off the second that you’d managed to get inside, and as you swung your arm back to close your door, Misha backed you up into it.

There was no need to exchange words with Misha about how you’d already felt about each other. It was like this fire inside of you that was ignited the second he walked up to you earlier that day.

His hands were all over you, and your hands were all over him. You palmed at his denim covered erection as he kneaded your breasts through your shirt. Your lips were soaked with each other’s saliva and you were slightly light headed from the lack of oxygen; but you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

You felt your heart in your stomach.. _or was it arousal?_  As Misha stepped out of his shoes and managed to pry his hands from you just long enough to undo his pants; your lips only parting from each other for a second as you slid your panties down and flung them across the room.

As soon as Misha had freed his impressive cock from his pants, he’d come back to crash his lips back into yours. Once again you were backed up into your door, and neither of you could wait to get to the bedroom. You needed him now.

Misha grabbed your ass and helped you hike your leg up just enough for him to guide his cock to your wet folds and slip into your entrance.

The only thing that was slow about fucking Misha Collins was when he eased into you; allowing you time to adjust to the size of his cock. You felt your walls stretch and burn ever so slightly, causing you to moan. It was a good burn. Once he’d filled you to the brim, he began thrusting.

Your head fell back against the door as a “fuck” slipped out of Misha’s mouth. You moved your other leg to jump up, but Misha wasn’t ready and stumbled back.

Neither of you minded falling to the floor, he’d somehow managed to stay inside of you and you landed on top of him. You shouted when you hit the floor, but that was only because he felt as if he’d went in even deeper. You sat up and started swiveling your hips and bouncing up and down.

The noises you were both making were damn near primal. Your release was incredibly close as you rode him on the floor of your small foyer area, but when he decided to grab ahold of your hips and slam up into you, you fell forward, your orgasm ripping through you and causing you to cry out. You’d never come like this before; and you hadn’t even realized that Misha was coming as well until you opened your eyes for a second to see Misha’s head thrown back. That’s when you heard his moans which could have very well given you a second orgasm.

As the convulsions of your body came to a slow stop, and Misha had finally been able to take a breath, you rolled off of him and laid on your back on the floor.

Breathing heavily, you looked over at him and smiled- “and this is my foyer area, which is between my livingroom and kitchen.”

When Misha looked at you and started laughing is when you lost it as well. But as you laughed, his nose crinkled in the way that it did and that genuine smile had flashed once again.

“How about you show me to your bedroom?” he asked, equally as breathless as you were.

You sighed as you looked at him, suddenly too entranced to respond. His eyes could take you captive and keep you for as long as they wanted. Your heart was pounding and if you thought about how you were feeling for Misha too much, you could cry.

“I know…I feel it too.” He said, his voice low as leaned forward to kiss you softly. His lips were incredibly soft. Slightly chapped, but not too chapped; and swollen from the desperate kissing you two had just done moments ago. He slowly broke off the kiss, your eyes fluttering open to look into his as he backed away.  _God damn._

He moved to sit up and he held his hand out for you.

You took his hand and sat up with him, ready to bring him to bed for the rest of the night.

You’d known Misha for less than twenty-four hours, but you were already madly in love with him.


	2. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Misha spend your week off wrapped up in each other.

“ _Ohh…G-god.._ ” You moaned as your body began to tremble, an orgasm taking over your body at full force; your walls clenching and your hands reaching down and gripping tightly onto dark brown locks of hair as your clit was sucked and licked until you were in complete ecstasy.

You let out a deep breath as your orgasm calmed down, Misha pulling his head away and kissing his way up your naked body until he was next to you in bed, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest; the smell of sex still heavy on both of you from last night.

“Morning-” he mumbled, his voice still sleepy.

You laid against him with your eyes closed, “You could wake me up like that every morning..”

“It’d be my pleasure-” your sex began throbbing again at the sound of his sleepy voice- “you taste amazing.”

Your hand moved down, tracing his abdomen until it found his erection; extra hard from just having woken up.

“ _Mmm_ ” you hummed as you gripped onto him and began slowly stroking, Misha’s hips lightly thrusting into your hand as you squeezed gently.

Mornings – and most days – were spent like this. After your second week on set, you and Misha both had a week off. You both decided keeping things private was the best option for now, you didn’t want to seem unprofessional, hooking up with your co worker before your first episode even aired on television.

Misha leaned over and softly placed his lips on yours, your heart fluttering so much that you couldn’t move for a moment. His tongue brushed against your bottom lip and he traced circles on your waist with his finger tips. The taste of your juices on his tongue igniting your desire for him even more.

“ _Misha.._ ” you whispered against his lips.

“Hmm?”

“ _I need you.._ ” He pressed his lips back into yours as he rolled over on top of you, his hand finding your face and brushing your hair back ever so gently. Every touch was like electricity. It was just you and Misha, nothing else mattered.

You wrapped your legs around the back of his thighs – as best as you could considering how thick they were– and you let him guide his cock to your entrance. He thrusted into you, slow at first. But the look on your face as his cock filled and stretched you brought out that desperate side, just like your first time with him in your foyer. The first fuck of the day was always the most intense for the both of you.

You moaned as he quickly picked up the pace, lifting your head up and burying it in the crook of his neck as you gripped onto his shoulders. Your lips reached his neck as his breathing laboured, biting and sucking a hickey right over his pulse point; drawing out the sexiest goddamned moan you’d ever heard.

Misha pulled at your hair gently so that your head would fall back, allowing him to kiss you. You moaned into his mouth as he kept up his speed. His lips broke apart from yours when his hips started to falter, breathing heavily as your hands found their way back into his hair. He rested his forehead against yours as he came, his cock twitching inside of you.

He kissed you for a moment before pulling out and lying down next to you again.

“When’s the last time we went outside?” you laughed as you turned to Misha and traced circles into his chest with your fingers.

“It’s been a few days.” Misha said as he caught his breath

“Maybe we should…go out for lunch?” you suggested.

Misha wrapped his arm around your waist- “Mmm, maybe-” he looked around your room- “it’s kind of hot in here isn’t it?”  
  
You thought about it for a second. It was actually really hot in your room. You weren’t just sweaty from all of the sex you’d been having. You wiggled out of Misha’s grasp, giggling when he smacked your ass as you got up, grabbed your phone off of the night stand and checked it as you walked the short distance to the other room to check the thermostat.

Your jaw slightly dropped when it read eighty degrees, and when you couldn’t get the air to kick on. After playing with it for a moment you huffed and walked back into your bedroom, smiling at the sight of Misha, lying in your bed with his arm resting above his head.

You pulled the camera up on your phone and snapped a picture of him just as he was pulling the sheet up over his lower half.

“Hey!” Misha said at the sound of the shutter, reaching up and grabbing your arm and pulling you down onto him.

He kissed you and rolled you over onto your back.

“Let me see it.” he said, smiling down at you.

“Here-” you held up the picture as you smiled- “I love it.”

Your heart skipped a beat when the word ‘love’ came out of your mouth. You were afraid Misha would think you were crazy if you mentioned it less than three weeks into..whatever this was.

Misha’s arm came around your side, resting over your abdomen as you looked at the picture you just snapped.

“The A/C’s out.” you said, not noticing Misha inching closer to your neck. So when he bit down there and sucked lightly your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

He replied with a  _mmmm_ , and moved his hand up your abdomen and grabbed one of your breasts before taking a nipple and pinching lightly, twisting, teasing; making you squirm. Your head fell back and you dropped your phone, letting Misha feel you up for what had to be the one hundredth time within the last three days. No that you cared, but you needed a shower.

Misha’s cock twitched as it hardened against your hip, causing your stomach to flip. The feeling from meeting him for the first time still fresh in your heart.

“Shower?” you suggested.

“ _Mmm, thought you’d never ask_.” Misha said with his lips still against your neck.

Before you knew it, both of you were out of bed – you cracked the window on your way to the bathroom to let some air in since you didn’t feel like calling about the A/C anyway.

Misha had already started the shower when you made it to the bathroom, the lack of clothes on both your parts making it hard to focus on anything. He glanced at you and you smiled at him as he stepped into your shower, which was luckily plenty big enough for two.

You stepped in after him, immediately letting him take you into his arms and pull you against him. His hands slid down your back as the cool water washed down over both of you, his hands gripped onto your ass as he leaned down and pressed his lips into yours; his cock twitching against your stomach.

“ _I think I need to clean up some._ ” you said teasingly as he moved his lips from yours and placed them on your jawline.

You pulled away slightly and grabbed the shower head, playfully aiming it at Misha’s chest as you moved your arm down, along with your free hand to part your lips and began massaging your clit with the water pressure.

You leaned back against the cold tile wall, letting the chills it sent through you fuel your arousal. Your head fell back and your eyes shut, moaning as the pressure from the shower head washed over your now throbbing sex, and bringing you incredibly close to orgasm. When you felt the water turn cold. Misha placed his hand over yours where you held the shower head.

“ _Uhhh, fuck._ ” you moaned, opening your eyes and looking directly up at Misha, who’d had his free hand on the knob, adjusting the temperature. The cold water had you quivering and on the edge of orgasm, but it wasn’t allowing you to come.

Misha stepped closer to you and moved his hand from the shower head, and ever so lightly traced his hand up your waist as he kissed your neck softly. His thumb stroked the sensitive spot just under your breast briefly before removing his hand and slowly turning the knob back towards the warm side.

As the temperature rose, so did your arousal. Your moans and heavy breathing turned into whimpers as Misha’s hands grabbed your hips and the tip of his cock brushed against your stomach. Your clit throbbed and pulsed until you were uncontrollably writhing and coming hard for the second time that morning – or early afternoon.

You allowed Misha to take the shower head from you and place it back up where it went, and kiss you as the water now ran down both of your bodies. Your hand found his cock as his tongue slid into your mouth. It took everything you had to pull away, but the perfect excuse to to get off of your now very weak legs was to get on your knees.

You kissed your way down Misha’s chest; licking the drops of water up along the way. You stroked his cock, squeezing each time your hand was close to the base of his shaft. His hand found the side of your face and brushed your wet hair from your cheek as you opened your mouth and wrapped your lips around him.

You slowly bobbed your head, Misha’s hand found it’s way into your hair and thrusted just enough to match your speed. You stroked what you couldn’t fit into your mouth and hollowed your cheeks, running your tongue over his slit periodically. Misha’s knees buckled and he turned and leaned his back against the wall, bringing you with him and causing you to hum around his cock. The water from the shower ran down your side as his cock twitched in your mouth and he pulled your hair enough for your mouth to come off of his cock with a ‘pop’.

You kept stroking him as you looked up at him, moaning with his eyes closed, almost unable to handle the pleasure you were causing him. After only a few strokes his hot cum shot out, landing on your chest. He opened his eyes just as he was coming down from his high, looking down at you with his cum on your chest and lust in his eyes.

You stood up and turned to the water, swirling your finger around your chest and washing it off slowly; Misha biting his bottom lip at the view.

–

After helping wash each other off, you’d been in the shower nearly an hour and a half and were exhausted and starving as you both made your way back to bed – still naked.

“I can cook if you want.” Misha offered, but when you looked over at the clock you realized that it was nearly two in the afternoon.

“How about we just order pizza and stay in bed.” you suggested. Smiling as you rested your head on Misha’s chest.

“S’fine by me.”

“Hey Mish?” Your nickname for him had stuck since that night at the bar.

“Yes baby?” His fingertips traced your arm as you looked up at him and into his eyes, which were still as beautiful as they were the first moment you saw them.

Your heart pounded and you felt a small lump in your throat as you watched Misha lick his lips and look at you reassuringly as you opened your mouth to speak.

“Is it crazy that I’m already..falling in love with you?”

The corners of Misha’s mouth tugged up as a grin spread across his face- “Not at all.”

Without warning Misha rolled you over onto your back and kissed you, his lips swollen and soft from all of the kissing that had been happening over the last few days.

He broke the kiss briefly to rest his forehead against yours and look into your eyes, his arms wrapped around you and holding you as close to his chest as they could.

“ _I’m falling in love with you too._ ”

His voice was slightly shaky when he said it. Almost like he was uncertain of how his feelings for someone could be so strong in such a small amount of time. But they were. Misha loved you from the moment he laid his eyes on you, and he knew that there would be no going back.

He kissed you again, this time his lips sent a surge of energy through you, the need for him to be close to you again rising in your lower belly.

You spread your legs apart and wrapped them around him; allowing him to roll the both of you over as your folds rested against his hardening cock.

Pizza would have to wait another hour.


	3. The First Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha doesn’t agree with some of your past decisions, leading to your first argument. Will it set the stage for the rest of your relationship?

You and Misha had been inseparable for a month now. You bounced between each other’s apartments, just living your lives…together. You’d given up all of your own time to be with Misha, and he’d given up his to be with you. It felt like you couldn’t be without him. It felt like he was your missing link. The thought of spending a night away from him made you feel like you could have a heart attack. So whenever you disagreed on something – which so far, wasn’t much – it took you by surprise.

You were never ashamed of your past. You were never embarrassed by how you used to make money when you were trying to jump start your acting career. You weren’t a role model for little girls. If someone asked you, you would tell them that you did porn for awhile to keep food in your stomach and a roof over your head. Shamelessly.

–

“You used to…what?” Misha said as he set his beer down and leaned back against his kitchen counter.

“I- did..porn?” you said, looking at him with your brows furrowed- “Back when I first moved to LA.”

“Why?” he scoffed.

“It paid the bills?” You imitated his tone.

“Really?” Misha looked at you with what you were interpreting as disgust. The look on his face made your stomach flip and you suddenly felt embarrassed about it.

“What?” You snapped while shaking your head.

“That’s just- It’s that…it’s just gross!” He finally spit out.

“Wow. Thanks Mish.”

“Well it is-” Misha crossed his arms- “How many guys were there?”

“Seriously?!” you stood up from the stool you’d been sitting on- “How many girls have you ever been with?”

“That’s different!” Suddenly every word that came out of Misha’s mouth enraged you.

“How the  _fuck_ is that any different?” You shouted.

“Why can’t you just tell me how many?” 

“Because I don’t know!” You spat out.

“Wow, okay.”

“What?”

“That’s just…kind of slutty, don’t you think?” Your heart stopped at his words.

“ _Excuse me?_ ” You stepped closer to him, your stomach churning as rage built up inside of you- “That’s a fucking shitty thing to say.”

“Well porn’s a fucking shitty thing to do don-”

You cut him off by throwing your beer bottle in his general direction; causing it to shatter at his feet.

“I’m getting my things.” you said before you stormed off into his bedroom to pick up your extra clothes and to get your bag.

Tears welled up and spilled over the second you’d turned to walk into his room. This was it. You were leaving Misha. You couldn’t be with someone who thought you were a slut. Your mom called you a slut, and Misha already knew how that ended.

“I-I’m  _done_  Misha!” you called from his room, scooping up your small pile of clothes on the floor, while your heart was trying to beat out of your chest and tears were streaming down your face.

“ _You’re not going anywhere!_ ” He yelled at you as he walked into the room and you took a step back. His toned scared you, if you were being honest. You sniffled as you stood there, unsure of what to say for a moment.

“Y-yes, I am,” you said quietly, “you just think I’m a slut. Remember?”

Misha’s expression softened as tears welled up in his own eyes.

“So I’m going.” you added as you stepped forward, having to try and push your way around Misha, but he stopped you by grabbing onto your arm gently.

“You can’t, baby…please.” His deep blue eyes sparkled as his own tears fell, tugging at your heart, breaking it in two.

“I didn’t mean it,” he added, “ _I love you._ ”

A lump formed in your throat and you broke down, your knees gave out and a second later you were on the the floor in Misha’s bedroom, leaning into his arms and crying.

“I love you too.” 

This was the first time you exchanged these words with each other. Sure, you told each other that you were falling in love..but something was different this time. There was this god awful pang in your chest when you even thought about going home without him.

Your first fight may have been short lived as you looked up with wet eyes and kissed Misha, deepening the kiss every second. And that may have been your first sign that you should’ve left him. But you couldn’t.

The good still outweighed the bad.

You were his.

He was yours.

It was meant to be.

—-

You and Misha had eventually made it to his bed; shattered beer bottle forgotten in the kitchen, the bedroom lit with candles. You laid on your back as he kissed you, most of your clothes already discarded on the floor.

Your back arched into him as his hand ran down your torso, his fingers slipping into your panties. Your tongue rolling against his and your hand held onto his wrist as he played with your folds; running his fingers through them, circling over your clit now and again.

Once you began trembling, Misha pulled away, earning a whimper from you as he adjusted himself on the bed to get his boxers off. You decided you’d shed the rest of your clothing as well and wiggled out of your panties, followed by your bra. You giggled as Misha practically lunged at you to take one of your breasts into his mouth, sucking and biting lightly, which drove you wild.

You rolled your hips up, your body needing to be touched more when his hands began to roam your body. His mouth popped off of your nipple as he began teasing both nipples, rolling them between his fingers, pulling at them gently. He kissed the spot between your breasts as you moaned, your clit throbbing from the lack of friction.

“ _Please, Misha._ ” you begged, his thigh now keeping your legs from rubbing together as he began kissing his way down your torso, his hands still on your breasts.

“You’re so beautiful.” he said with his lips against your body, his hands moving down and his fingertips leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Misha made his way down even further, drawing out a moan from you as he kissed your inner thighs. You squirmed as his thumb brushed along your folds, he lightly bit your thigh and sucked a hickey right where it drove you wild.

“ _Baaby-_ ” you moaned as he pushed a finger inside of you and curled it up, his mouth now kissing the apex of your thigh. Before you could get anything out other than a whimper, Misha was kissing your throbbing, wet sex, just above your clit…and then he kissed your clit. His tongue flicked out briefly, causing your hips to buck up.

He slowly slid another finger inside of you, now making a scissoring motion as he sucked your clit into his mouth, somehow licking it while he sucked.

“ _Ohh,_ oh god-  _Mishaa-_ ” you cried out as he pushed you right to the edge before completely pulling way. You let out a whine of frustration, needing to come.

“ _Please-_ ” you begged again, Misha smirking at you as he rested ontop of you and kissed you, the taste of your juices on his lips fueling the fire in your lower belly.

“Patience, my love.” he whispered against your lips as the tip of his cock brushed your abdomen.

You spread your legs more for him, and you felt him smile against your lips as he continued kissing you. He reached down between you and propped himself up with his free arm, and gripped onto his cock, pumping himself a few times before rubbing the head up and down along your folds.

Your breathing laboured even more and you mewled underneath him. You needed to feel him inside of you and you needed to come around his cock.

He kept up the teasing movement until you felt yourself close to tipping over the edge once more, completely ready to come just from the feeling of Misha’s cock brushing against your clit. But he pulled away again.

“Dammit Misha, please.”

“ _Soon._ ” he growled as he moved down to bite your neck. He sucked on your pulse point while moving his hand back up to knead your breast.

At this point you were frustrated, you couldn’t take anymore. You needed to come.

You moved your arms up and pushed Misha off of you, rolling him over onto his back. He worried his brow until you swung your leg over and straddled him. He went to grip onto your thighs but you swatted his hands away.

You reached down and gripped onto his cock and lifted yourself up and sank down onto him, your eyes squeezing shut as he filled you.

You swiveled your hips once he was fully seated inside of you, moving your hand to rub your clit in harsh circles as your pace quickened; not worried about his release.

“ _Fuck-_ ” Misha moaned as you opened your eyes and looked down at him, giving him a small nod and granting him permission to grip onto your thighs just as he wanted to moments ago.

His fingers dug in –surely to leave bruises there later, not that you’d mind– and began thrusting up into you, his thrusts matching the motion of your hand rubbing your sensitive clit. Seconds later you felt your walls clench around Misha’s cock and an electric sensation pulse through your entire body as you came hard. Misha suddenly being taken over his edge as well.

He’d never come like that before. You’d never come like that before. You’d never come at the same time as someone else, and it was incredible. His hot cum pushing it’s way up into you as your walls convulsed around his cock drew the loudest of moans from both of you.

You felt your body go limp as you came down from the high, and you fell forward, resting on top of Misha. He wrapped his arms around you and traced circles into your back as your bodies relaxed. You lazily kissed him, bringing your arms above his shoulders so that you could cup his cheeks.

—-

“Mish?” you whispered, “you awake?”

You rolled over to face him in the dark room and his arms adjust around you as you moved, making sure you were still comfortable. You’d been trying to sleep now for what felt like hours, but here you were at three in the morning, still awake with things on your mind.

“ _Hmm?_ ” he hummed, his voice groggy and sleepy.

“I wanna be with you…for the rest of my life-” you confessed as you rested your head on his chest- “I’ve never loved anyone, not like this.”

“I haven’t either baby.” you could practically hear the smile in his voice as he kissed the top of your head and stroked your arm where his hand rested.

“But I wanna keep you to myself a little while longer, I don’t want anyone to know about us yet.”

“Anything you want, Y/N.” You smiled as he kissed your head again and drifted off to sleep.


	4. Head Over Heels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s your first convention, and you sneak over to Misha’s room late at night.

There was no accurate way to describe how you felt for Misha. For the last month and a half, you’d fallen completely and utterly, head over heels in love with him.

You didn’t think you could fall more and more in love with him each and every day, but you did.

You thought that after awhile, the butterflies would go away, but they didn’t. You thought that after awhile, the need to be near him at all times would go away, but it didn’t.

And that’s what it was; a need. You needed Misha like an addict needed drugs.

You had never been in love before. Not once, not ever. Sure, you’d been with other people. You’d dated, hooked up, all that. But never fallen in love. This was totally new to you.

Being in love was nauseating. But you  _wanted_  to feel this way.

You were so excited, you were at your first convention, your first episode had aired, fans loved you, but you didn’t want to tell the world about you and Misha yet. So you were in separate hotel rooms for the weekend. Which is why you had been crying whenever you were by yourself. You just wanted to be with him.  
  
You knew you’d sneak over to his room late at night, but when you were in Vancouver you didn’t have to do that, so this was hard for you. Really hard. Being away from Misha was…just painful.

It was painful for Misha too. More painful than you could actually imagine. His mind was one hundred and twenty percent set on being with you for the rest of his life. What you hadn’t seen was him breaking down over it when you’d first arrived in your separate rooms that morning.

It was late Saturday night, everything was done for the day, and Misha had just let you in his room.

There weren’t many words exchanged as you had your hands all over each other immediately. You hadn’t been able to do so much as kiss him since you’d left Vancouver, and you needed physical contact; and you needed it now.

“I missed you today.” you said between kisses as you both slowly migrated from the door to the bed.

“I know-” he breathed as you both fell down on the bed. His hands were on your hips, gripping tight enough to leave bruises – which Misha had quickly discovered you liked.

You moaned as you let him begin to have his way with you. You let him bite your neck and suck on your pulse point. You let him throw you down on your back and practically rip your clothes off.

You helped him until you were completely naked before you sat up on your knees and pushed him down. His shirt was off and you wanted his pants off as well, so when his head fell back against the pillows, your hands were on his belt buckle.

“Someone needs laid.” Misha laughed as you struggled to get his pants off.

“I need you _bad_ baby-” you moaned as he began helping you. Once you finally had his pants and boxers off, and his cock out, you crashed your lips into his as you gripped him tight and pumped him.

He breathed heavily into your mouth before you began kissing your way down his jawline, his stubble burning your lips as you moved down. Then you kissed his neck, slow and agonizingly. He tried to grip a handful of your hair as you bit down but you wouldn’t let him. You took his hand and threw it back above his head, showing him who was boss.

Misha’s hips began to buck up as you kissed your way down even further, making sure to take your time on his chest as you licked and kissed and tasted him. His firm chest spreading with goosebumps with every touch. Your grip on his cock tightened but you slowed the pace you’d been stroking him at.

You’d finally made your way all the way down, and you were now kissing the base of his cock.

“You sure do know how to tease-” Misha said, you could hear the desperation in his voice as you licked slowly up his shaft, drawing an involuntary moan from him.

You licked around the top of his shaft, then around the head, then you licked up the bead of salty precum that had begun to drip down. You started at the base of his shaft again and kissed your way up, not giving him the satisfaction of stroking while you teased him.

You kissed your way up to the tip of his cock before you finally decided to take him into your mouth, you bobbed your head and hollowed your cheeks, drawing out every ounce of pleasure from him that you could. His hips were bucking up every time your head went down and his back arched as he gripped onto your hair and spilled out into your mouth. Your name fell off his lips as you sucked until he was finished coming, and swallowed every last drop before sitting up.

You smiled at him before getting up and going for your drink, which Misha had ordered to his room before you got there. The shot of tequila washing the taste of his cum down nicely.

“Is porn why you’re so good at that?” Misha asked, looking up at you from the bed.

You spun around to look at him, feeling your heart begin to race- “ _Seriously?_ ”

Misha stood up and started walking over to where you stood- “You’re right. Babe, I’m sorry.”

He took your hand in his and guided it to set your drink down before he pulled you in for a kiss.

“Let me make it up to you.” he said against your lips as you felt his hand move down and his finger tease at your folds.

You whimpered as he guided you back to the bed, laying down next to you and kissing you as his finger began to lightly rub your clit; just enough to make you squirm. He took his middle finger and ring finger and slowly slid them inside of you, making a scissoring motion with them as his thumb took over your clit.

In less than a minute you were coming on his fingers, writhing and grabbing at his arm as your orgasm took over you. He rode you through it before finally pulling out of you, and you laid there, staring at the ceiling.

Your orgasm had been so intense you didn’t even notice that Misha had pulled the covers up over you both and was trying to hand you your phone.

“It hasn’t even been twenty four hours you know.” he said to you as you snapped out of it.

“I know, I just…need you, all the time.” you smiled as you turned to him and took your phone.

You both proceeded to play on your phones, both wanting to see photo ops and things that fans had said about your panel today. You had a huge smile on your face as you saw everything, this weekend was really amazing. You never knew that your career would take you here, but you were glad that it did.

Misha had scooted up to lean against the headboard, and you glanced up at him, noting the slightly annoyed look on his face, but you didn’t say anything.

“Looks like you have quite a few male fans.” he said as he continued to look at whatever he was looking at.

“I guess.” you shrugged, suddenly feeling the need to set your phone down.

“You look awfully comfortable with them.” he said, showing you one of the photos you were in earlier today.

“Yeah, they were cool.” you responded as you rolled over and sat up to look for your shirt.

“Y/N, you wouldn’t ever..cheat on me, would you?” He asked, setting his phone down as you’d gotten up to put some clothes on.

“Of course not, Mish, why would you think that?” you unintentionally snapped, wincing at your own tone.

You stood there and looked at him as you stepped into your panties and slid your shirt on. Your blood began to boil as you thought of some of the things you’d seen him do.

“Have you ever seen some of  _your_  photo ops?” you questioned him, suddenly being taken over by rage, “Those girls are all over you.”

You huffed as you walked over to your drink and took a big swig as Misha watched you with anger in his eyes.

“Maybe you’d rather fuck _them._ ” you added.

“What the fuck Y/N?” Misha raised his voice as he stood and slid his boxers on, his face starting to turn read the more that you ignored him and the more that you spat insults at him.

“They’re younger than me-” your voice got louder and you set your drink down- “I bet you like them a little closer to eighteen,  _don’t you?_ ”

“ _Shut the fuck up!_ ” he shouted as he sat back down.

“What? You can call me a slut but you can’t handle a small taste of  _your own_  medicine?” you cocked your head and waited for his reaction.

He stood up again, and you’d never forget the look on his face as he stepped closer to you, his anger spilling over more than you’d ever seen before.

“Now you’re just being a  _dumb bitch._ ” he said, his voice low as he looked down on you, almost like you were an object.

Misha stumbled back when your fist landed on his face with a loud  _c r a c k._

His hands came up to cover his nose as he sat down on the bed, removing one of his hands and noticing that his hand was now covered in blood, triggering your panic.

“Misha-” you ran forward- “I’m sorry,  _baby, I’m so sorry._ ”

You tried to pull his hands away from his face and grab a napkin to try and clean him up, but as you grabbed his wrist, he shoved you off of him, hard, causing you to fall back and land on the floor.

“ _Get out._ ” he told you. Looking down at you.

You quickly stood up and put the rest of your clothes on as fast as you could and left. You slammed his door and as you began the short walk from his room to yours, you began to hyperventilate. The seriousness of the situation starting to hit you.

It was all happening so fast and your heart raced and you felt sweaty as you opened the door to your hotel room. You walked in and shut it behind you. You slid down the door and landed on the floor before you let out a loud sob. You brushed your hair out of our face as you suddenly lost all control of your emotions.

There was a sinking feeling in your chest and you felt like you were going to throw up. There was no way Misha loved you after that. There was no way he would even want to look at you after that. Your thoughts ran wild as you fell over and curled into yourself on the floor and lost it.

You contemplated leaving and heading back to Vancouver, but you didn’t think that you could even get up. You laid there and sobbed, wanting nothing more than to run to Misha and make sure that he was okay. You were wrong. You shouldn’t have hit him.

_This was your fault._


	5. Making Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You an Misha make up, like you have before, but will you ever discuss what the problem is?

You’d spent the majority of Sunday locked in your hotel room. You didn’t leave, you ignored all texts and phone calls, and just ordered room service and laid in bed.

Misha had yet to call you.

You thought he might have been busy, but he didn’t really have much to do on Sundays from what you understood. So your mind went straight to thinking that he didn’t want to be with you anymore.

And every time that thought crossed your mind, your chest sank and fresh tears fell. You didn’t want to live without him. You needed him. You were his, now and always.

You shut the television off and rolled over whenever an old episode of Supernatural came on. You couldn’t watch it right now. You weren’t even sure if you could go back to work after this.

You had just closed your eyes whenever you heard a knock at your door. You froze for a moment, and your eyes shot back open. Your heart pounded and you hoped and prayed until you heard another knock.

“Y/N?” you heard on the other side. It was Misha.

You wished you had the willpower to ignore him, but you jumped up and ran to the door, and opened it up.

Misha’s eyes were red. His face was flushed and the second you opened the door he’d lunged forward and took you into his arms.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered as he held you, and you relaxed into him without protest.

“Shouldn’t you be downstairs?” you asked, your voice shaky from crying all day.

“No, I don’t have anything left to do-” he rubbed your back and pulled you in even tighter- “I just wanna spend the rest of the day with you.”

“I’m sorry.” you cried as you buried your face in his chest.

“Don’t be, baby.”

“I can’t live without you, Mish.” you said, your voice muffled as you cried into him.

“Baby, don’t say that-” Misha’s hand found it’s way into your hair and began running his hands through your long, y/h/c locks- “I have an idea.”

His hands landed on your shoulders and pulled your crying form back so that you’d look at him.

—-

You walked out of the bathroom from taking a shower just as Misha had instructed you to do. He said he needed to set up his idea, and that you needed a shower to get yourself nice and relaxed.

When you stepped out into the main part of your room, there were blankets tented across between the two beds, held up by various random objects. The tv was gone, you assumed it to be underneath the mess off blankets.

You stepped out of your towel and into a tank top and a pair of shorts before you decided to walk over to this mountain and get down on the floor to crawl inside.

“Welcome to our blanket fort.” Misha smiled. You returned his smile. The inside was perfect. There were even more blankets and pillows, the tv was set up and he held his arms out for you to come join him.

“You did all _this_ while I was in the shower?” you asked as you relaxed against the nightstand in Misha’s arms, which had enough pillows in front of it to make it as nearly as comfortable as a bed.

“So what are we watching?” you asked as you looked up at Misha.

“We’re watching….Supernatural.”

“Isn’t that a little…” you smiled.

“Nope.”

You both laughed as he leaned down to kiss you, the feeling of his lips on yours for the first time in hours had to be the most relaxing thing you’d ever experienced. You tilted your head slightly, and when you bumped his nose, he flinched.

“Are you okay?” you pulled back some.

“Yeah, you uh..just got me pretty good last night is all.” you looked at him with sadness in your eyes. You felt awful.

You reached up and caressed his cheek, pulling him back down for another kiss before you both went to watching old Supernatural reruns.

Before long, you’d both slid down almost all the way, holding each other as your head rested against his chest. The sound of his heartbeat becoming more and more distracting as time went on.

He leaned down to whisper that he loved you in your ear before maneuvering himself around so that you were now laying flat on the blanketed floor.

Chills coursed through your body from his hot breath against your ear, and as he made his way down he would surely leave hickeys on your neck if he sucked any harder. You felt his cock against your thigh as you laid there, feeling his hand slowly drag it’s way down your stomach and wiggle underneath the waistband of your shorts.

You whimpered  when his fingers dipped into your folds before pulling his hand away and finding his way on top of you, kissing your lips, your neck, your collarbone, causing you to shudder. He growled as he took one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked.

He needed to taste you. He needed to taste all of you; but he loved the way you sounded when you whimpered and silently begged for him to give you what you needed the most.

Misha’s rock hard cock kept brushing against your clit that was covered with nothing but the thin fabric of your shorts.

“ _Baby-_ ” you moaned as he finally after what felt like hours had your shorts off, and his lips brushed their way down your torso, kissing and licking until he reached your soaked pussy. He placed a light kiss on your sensitive bud before moving away, and kissing your inner thigh.

But if he drug his tongue up your folds one more time without ever touching your clit, you may just come from the desire alone.

But then he does it, at last. He circles your clit; teasing it with his tongue and igniting your orgasm. Your walls clenched and your legs twitched as you felt electricity course through your veins. You reached down and threaded your fingers through his hair, gripping tightly and bucking your hips up, grinding against his mouth. Your body writhed as he flicked his tongue even faster, riding you through the waves of your pleasure until you slowly came down.

But did you think that Misha would stop after you came down from what you would say was one the most intense orgasms of your life? No. Once he started flicking your clit with his tongue, he didn’t stop. He circled it and sucked it into his mouth as you felt a finger enter you. When he curled it up, your hips bucked up, and his face pressed into your soaking wet, throbbing heat even harder, lightly dragging his teeth over your clit as he sucked on it.

When he inserted a second finger, the motion of curling upwards became constant. Your body trembled, your pussy so sensitive from your first orgasm that you were now twitching with every movement that Misha made. You begged him, pleaded with him, to show you mercy, but as the warming in your lower belly increased again, you lost the ability to speak.

Your second orgasm ripped through you, drawing an involuntary scream from you as he hummed against your clit, lapping up your juices and drawing out your orgasm even longer than the first. Just as you began to come down, he pulled away and softly blew on your clit before going taking his thumb and circling it harshly, reigniting your orgasm.

A layer of sweat formed on your forehead as you cried out for him, wondering how much longer your orgasm could possibly go on. As he worked both hands on your sex, you felt the familiar pressure inside of you building each time his fingers brushed against your g-spot. With one last motion of his fingers, your juices flowed out of you and onto the blankets underneath you. You mewled as the feeling was almost too much.

“ _Misha please…_ ” you managed to muster up as he went back to lapping at your folds. His tongue seeming to never tire as he stayed silent and licked until you were screaming again. You didn’t think you could have another orgasm until…you did. This one lasting longer than the first two. How it was happening, you had no idea. You thrashed and gripped onto the bed next to you. You lifted your head up to look at Misha as your orgasm finally, after what had to be a full minute faded.

“How was that, baby?” He asked you as he kissed his way back up your torso, and kissing each of your breasts before you felt the tip of his cock enter you.

“H _mmmm- Misha-_ ” you breathed, unable to say anything more than that as his cock slid into you even further. The slight curve he had causing him to brush over your g-spot as he thrusted slowly, more of your juices flowing out of you from the over stimulation. Your head fell back as you let out a loud moan.

“Need me to stop?” he asked you.

You shook your head and he hooked an arm around one of your thighs, pulling it up and slamming into you. You’d both somehow scooted down and knocked the tv over, and as he fucked you into the now soaked blankets on the floor, the sheets and blankets above you fell; covering you both as he thrusted into you.

Neither of you paid any attention to the mess of blankets and random objects surrounding you as the sound of your moans, his groans, and skin slapping against skin grew even louder. You threw your arms around him and dug your nails into his back as you began to feel another build up of pressure inside of you.

Misha cried out for you as your nails drug down his back and his thrusts faltered. Your head fell back as a sudden orgasm washed over you. His cock twitched inside of you as his hot seed spilled out, leaning down to kiss you, his thrusts slowing to a stop.

Once he stilled he kissed you for what felt like forever. Your arms pulled at the blankets that were covering you until you were uncovered, and could breathe easier again. Your heart rate slowed as Misha’s lips on yours calmed you down, and made you forget everything that had happened last night.

-

Several minutes later when you were getting cleaned up you had this sudden wave of emotions wash over you, reminding you that you wanted to be with Misha forever; regardless of how much you fought, or disagreed on something, or how jealous one of you got over something silly. It didn’t matter to you. None of it mattered.

All that mattered was the love you felt for him.


	6. The Long Haul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s one, small issue that causes a fight. Will it be your last?

What you tried to ignore for the next several weeks was the lack of anything but fighting between you and Misha.

When you weren’t fighting, you were fucking; and when you weren’t fucking, you were fighting.

But you loved him. You were _in love_ with him. That’s all that mattered. Right? Misha still looked at you with that starstruck look that he flashed you on the steps of your trailer the first time you met. He still made your stomach flip. He still made your heart flutter.

You had been with Misha for four months now. Everyone that you worked with noticed tension between the two of you, but you still kept it quiet. Especially since the tension that everyone noticed wasn’t good tension.

You were at Misha’s apartment this weekend, and for once, things weren’t all bad. But that’s probably because things were all sex.

You laid on your back in his bed like you’d done so many times before, breathing heavily while Misha’s mouth traveled south on your body. His lips reached the apex of your thigh kissing you gently as his fingers brushed against your clit.

“ _Mishaa-_ ” you moaned as he teased you, his finger dipping into your entrance just before his tongue began to slowly lap at your folds. You moaned loudly as he quickened his pace, thrusting his finger in and out of you and now flicking his tongue against your clit. When you were about to come, he pulled away, and you whined.

“ _Mmm,_ not yet, baby girl.” he growled as he kissed his way back up your torso and stopping at your breasts to take a nipple into his mouth. You squirmed from every electrifying touch. You were too worked up and all you could think of was release.

Your hips bucked as Misha placed kisses all over your body, teasing you on purpose. He didn’t touch your throbbing sex once as his hands roamed your body, as his lips met yours, as his hard cock brushed against your legs.

“ _Please baby._ ” you begged as he guided his cock along your soaked folds.

You whimpered again when he pulled away and sat up next to you on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He looked at you with that look in his eyes as his hand reached down and ran through your hair.

“Do what you want.” he whispered, smiling at you, and you didn’t have to be told twice as you got up and immediately threw your leg across him and straddled him.

You crashed your lips into his as you adjusted yourself so that you could finally guide his cock to your entrance and sink down quickly. You were so wet and so ready for him that you just took what you wanted.

Your lips broke away from his when the moan that came from him damn near threw you over the edge. He gripped onto your hips and you began to ride him as fast as you could, high pitched moans escaping your throat as you approached your release.

Misha’s hands began guiding your hips as he thrusted up into you, and you held onto his shoulder with one hand and began to rub your clit with the other.

You cried out as you fell over the edge, your orgasm ripping through you. You forced your eyes open and looked directly at Misha just as he reached his own release, the feeling of your walls clenching around his thick cock often too much for him to handle.

You leaned forward to put your breasts in his face as his cock twitched inside of you, and he wrapped his arms around you tightly as he moaned.

When you’d both finally come down, you fell off of him and landed next to him on the bed, where he scooted down to be with you.

“I’ll never get tired of that.” he said breathlessly.

“That’s good.” you joked as you both stared at the ceiling for a moment.

“Hey Mish-” you looked at him as you thought of what had been on your mind since you’d gotten the script for your next episode- “you’re not gonna be mad about this sex scene I have to do for work, right?”

His gaze fell from the ceiling from you, hardening as he looked at you- “You what?”

“You didn’t know?” your heart began to pound for a reason other than the orgasm you’d just had, “Did you read the next script yet?”

“Haven’t had the chance.” he snapped, causing you to jump back slightly.

You watched him, silently. You watched the anger build up inside of him. You watched the jealousy spread through every vein in his body. Maybe you shouldn’t have told him yet.

“I have to do it for work, baby.” you said calmly, trying to reach out and comfort him; but he shoved your arm away, and stood up.

You did the same, searching for your clothes as you sensed a fight coming on.

“Mish, I’m contractually obligated to do it.” you tried to reassure him. Trying to show him that you didn’t  _want_  to do it. You  _had_  to.

“You didn’t have to sign a _fucking contract_  for them to keep you on the show.”  his tones startling you once again.

As you put your clothes back on, something changed. Something inside of you. You felt this awful pang in your chest just before your whole body went numb.

“And what about us?” Misha continued, you tried to avoid eye contact with him as he went on, “Don’t you love me?”

“Of course I love you!” you yelled as you tried to come back to reality and finally looked up at him as you got your shirt on.

Misha tried to step forward once he finished getting dressed but, you took a step back. You didn’t know what it was, but something just…clicked in your head. It was like a switched just, flipped.

_You needed to get out of here._

You loved him, but this was wrong. This was all wrong.

You suddenly felt extremely nauseous as you looked around for any belongings you had in his apartment.

Tears stung your eyes before you looked back up at Misha, who was looking at you with worry. He’d been talking, but you couldn’t hear him. You opened your mouth to speak just as the tears spilled over, and your body began to shake; alarming Misha.

“I-I’m leaving.”  
  
“What?” Misha asked you, “You’re not leaving.”

Maybe you wouldn’t leave for good. Maybe you would come back tomorrow. You and Misha had recently had fights that led to spending the night apart. That was good for you, right?

You walked over and slid your shoes on before grabbing your jacket and purse, only to be stopped by Misha when you’d walked out of his bedroom. He grabbed you by the wrist, firmly, and spun you around.

You swallowed a sob that was getting ready to come to surface as you made eye contact with Misha; while standing in his foyer.

“Let me leave.” You said.

You pulled your wrist from his grasp just before a fight broke out between the two of you. The next several minutes were spent screaming at each other, and shoving each other. The fact that you put your hands on each other on it’s own was enough reason for you to leave. You weren’t trying to hurt each other, but it was still wrong. He shouldn’t have put his hands on you, and you shouldn’t have put your hands on him. You weren’t even sure who’d started it.

By the time there was an actual break in between comebacks, insults, and I love you’s, you were shaking. Misha’s face was red with rage and you were out of breath.

“Misha-” you shook your head as you looked up at him- “Let me go. We can talk later.”

The adrenaline gave you the strength you needed to get through this. You picked up your purse again and turned to leave; and just as your hand was on the door knob you felt Misha grab your wrist once again, only this time he slammed you into the wall; which scared you.

“ _NO!_ ” you screamed. “ _Misha, let go!_ ”

As Misha held you against the wall, he tried to stay calm, he tried to brush your hair out of your face and kiss you, but you turned your head.

“Baby, don’t do this.” he begged you, you almost didn’t notice that he’s begun crying, but the way his voice cracked…

He leaned in slowly this time, and you allowed him to press your lips into yours. It went unspoken, but it almost felt…final. Your heart sank when he pulled away, and tears spilled over whenever he let you go, and you finally slipped out the door.

—-

You arrived home feeling empty, and broken. You threw your purse down and took your jacket off before walking over to your couch in your dark apartment. You hadn’t even bothered to turn the lights on.

Tears had been streaming down your face ever since you’d left Misha’s apartment. That didn’t feel like a normal fight. It felt different. You laid down on your couch – the one place in your apartment where his smell didn’t linger.

You lifted your hips up and pulled your phone out of your pocket and stared at the blank screen for a moment before turning it off. Something was happening inside you and you couldn’t let it be interrupted with texts or calls or tweets. You tossed your phone onto your coffee table and laid there, just staring at the darkness.

-

An hour later, you’d completely lost it. You’d begun sobbing, you’d curled into yourself. You and Misha were really over. It felt final now. You had only hoped that you didn’t need to call Misha and clarify. Maybe he’d realized it too.

 _The relationship was doomed anyway_ , you thought. You were never supposed to fall in love with Misha. He was only ever supposed to be a co worker, nothing more.

You’d never felt any greater pain than you felt right now. You’d never experienced true heartbreak; and you never knew that it was this bad.

It felt like you’d survived being pushed off the edge of a cliff….you just wanted it to end, you didn’t want to live. Your chest hurt, your stomach was in knots. You had tears and snot running down your face and you screamed into your pillow before throwing it across the room, breaking what sounded like a vase. You were hyperventilating and you wanted nothing more than for Misha to come and tell you that it was okay. But he wouldn’t. And you just, knew it. Regardless if he was truly in it for the long haul or not.

–

You’d left a mostly-full bottle of tequila at Misha’s apartment a week ago, and Misha had just emptied it. He sat on the floor, right where he had you up against the wall and drank away.

Soon after you left, he figured out that you had shut your phone off when he’d tried to call you. He could also tell by the look in your eyes that, you were done.

He spend the evening trying to keep from admitting it to himself, but he felt so alone. His own tears streamed down his face while he sat on the floor, his own chest hurting just from thinking of you.

He looked over at his phone which he’d thrown against the door, wondering if he should try to call  you again. Misha had never felt this way before, and he’d thrown his fist into the wall next to him when he realized that the smart thing to do would be to give you the space that you needed.

There was nothing he could to now but sit there and be drunk, and think about how he was going to love you forever. Maye now just wasn’t the right time for you and Misha. You both seemed to have things to work on.

He was in complete denial that any of this was happening; and for the next almost two years, he would keep the same thought in mind.

The right time _will_  come, and Misha will be there when it does.


	7. Becoming Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You return to set after the filming break.

**AUGUST: THE FOLLOWING YEAR**

You pulled up on set, excited to get back to work. You weren’t in the first few episodes this season, so you started filming a little later; and you hadn’t seen anyone since before the break, besides a few conventions. Which was kind of nice, you enjoyed yourself.

You had taken the break and spent the entire time doing things for yourself. You went and stayed in LA, you had a thing with a guy, it was a good time. It was just a casual thing, it had been over for a few weeks now, but it was just what you’d needed.

You opened the door of your car and walked up on set, it was sunny, the weather was beautiful, and you felt more refreshed than ever. A grin spread across your face when you walked across the trailer lot, and your eyes landed on Misha. 

You took off running and jumped into his arms, wrapping your legs around him.

“I missed you, Mish.” you practically squealed as he buried his face in your hair. 

“I missed you too, did you have a good break?” he asked you as he finally set you down. 

“I did.” you smiled, your arms still wrapped around his neck. Looking into his eyes wasn’t painful anymore; your heart still fluttered, but it was tolerable. And you were sure with time, it would fade completely.

You and Misha had become extremely close in another way since you’d broken up, and you weren’t sure how it happened; but you were grateful. You could turn to him for anything, he was always there for you. There was no more fighting, there was no more pain. It was just…good.

You didn’t really have any friends before you started working on Supernatural, so having your fellow castmates as friends was pretty exciting.

“Y/N!” You heard Jensen’s voice call from behind you, and you let go of Misha. 

You turned around and went to Jensen in attempt to hug him, but his arms were around you before you could hug him back. You melted into him, you missed him too. You’d become quite close with Jensen as well. Your heart skipped a beat when he kissed your forehead after hugging you.

Before you could even look up at Jensen, a large pair of arms wrapped around your waist from behind and picked you up.

“ _Jared!_ ” you shouted, “put me down!”

You laughed and playfully screamed when Jared swung you around and told you how much he missed you. 

This was right. This all felt meant to be. 

After everyone was done attacking you with love, you all made plans to go out after work. You needed to catch up with everyone. It’d been too long. 

And that was it, everything fell into place.

 Except, you didn’t know that within a year, you’d be falling in love with Jensen. And you didn’t know that he would love you back.

And little did you know that the truth about how Misha felt for you would come out.

_Things would only be okay for a little while._


End file.
